INTIMATE WEDDING TO-DO LIST!

Growing up sounds good but challenging at the same time, right? I think we all can agree that Asian people have tendency to be married before 30s because they were caged by their culture and beliefs, so they have different values of marriage, chiefly for women. They perceived that being married would give someone a certain level of joy and having a long-time partner would complete their emptiness.

But as the time goes by, where people has free their mindset, marriage is not the only measurement of happiness. Women can do anything such as focus on her carrier or business, pursue higher education at any age, and they are entitled to live their life without having to worry about being judged by the society. So does men, they can choose to not to marry woman, and taking care of himself properly without demanding a long-time partner by his side.

Yet still, Asian people love to getting married at such a young age. This situation getting intense since covid-19 outbreaks arise in 2020, where young couples in Indonesia were begun to plan and held an intimate wedding at their 20s, and limit the guest list to follow the health protocols. So, if you're one of them, here's some tips and to-do list to conduct an intimate wedding!

1. Arrange a family meeting

Family meeting is the key point of all the plans. Before you start searching vendors and place for your wedding day, have a deep conversation and discussion with your family and your partner's family is essential. You can talk about the budget plan, the wedding ring, the mahar or dowry, seserahan, the wedding concept, and guest list. Also, this opportunity will bring you to have deeper understanding in recognizing and knowing each other.

2. Arrange your budget plan

Before making decision which vendors that suits your needs, you need to arrange budget plan with your partner. Not to mention, budget plan is the core of wedding. You both need to be agree about the budget and the party. If you still argue about the budget plan, I suggest you need to hold your wedding, because this will lead you to a serious problems during the marriage. One will blame the other for not reaching out the satisfaction of the budget plan and being accused for not being well prepared for sharing the cost itself everytime you face problems. So be careful and please be thoughtful on current financial situation of your family or your partner's family.

3. Create your own intimate wedding concept

A wedding concept must be really personal for all couples. Arranging the wedding concept is the next to do list. Having an intimate wedding may not be common for Indonesian society before 20th century. I understand how the culture diversity was born and grow, also how Indonesian people keep the custom from their ancestors as their true identity, so that every wedding must be celebrated with a huge reception with whole family and relatives gather in a day. Intimate wedding concept once triggered questions and assumptions where they perceived that the couple must be have the baby before wedding happens. But now, intimate wedding has become quite famous because most of public figures choose intimate wedding over a huge wedding. During this pandemic, where huge wedding are banned, held an intimate wedding is the only choice we have. Here's some clue to create a perfect intimate wedding ; limit your guest list up to 150 persons, set up the wedding duration (either 2 hours or maybe 5 hours, it's up to you and you can adjust the duration related to the wedding theme : is it going to be a complete traditional or international wedding? do you prefer traditional reception or mingle?), choose a simple but memorable decoration (regarding your own taste : either elegant or rustic or back to nature or anything), invite your beloved ones including your closest family and friends only, and last but not least don't forget to choose the best place for you and your partner to spend the big day that fit for your guest list (regarding your dream wedding ; either luxury wedding at hotel's ballroom, either outdoor wedding at the park, either sunset romance wedding at the beach, or anything). Don't forget to make sure that every decision must be agreed by both of you and the whole family related to approved budget plan that we've discussed above.

4. Vendor survey

After creating the wedding concept, the next step is conduct the vendor survey. You and your partner are entitled to choose the best of the best from all vendors that you have known. Don't be afraid to arrange a casual meeting to ask about the price list and their offerings. You and your partner need to push out your critical thinking and ask as many as you can. You both need to understand the portofolios of each vendor, you are entitled to understand and knowing their services. For example, you require Wedding Organizer and Planner that could give 24 hours support to your needs, but also have an affordable price. You may not found both of those criteria, but you would found one that similar to your criteria. Here I write down the vendor list for you:

-Wedding Organizer and Planner

-Catering

-Decoration

-Photography and Videography

-Wedding Designer

-Make Up Artist

-Hair Stylist

-Seserahan Box

-MC

-Band and Entertainment

5. Make the guest list and bridesmaids

Yeay! You are half way there! Guest list are related to number of meals that you'll sign at your wedding day. There is a formula to count how many meals that you need to prepare :

(Number of guest) x 2 = the exact number of meals that must be served on your wedding table.

The explanation :

-"2" is representing the partner of your guest, you couldn't count your guest as they will attend your wedding alone. So you need to estimating the number of guest by assuming that they will ask a friend or partner or family to be their company.

-"(Number of guest)" is representing how many people that you'd like to invite to attend your wedding. This is adjustable, according to your agreement with your partner's family.

-So, let's make it easier to understand, for example : you'll going to held an intimate wedding by inviting 50 people, including your closest family, bridesmaids, grooms mans, colleague, and relatives. So you need to serve 100 pax of meals on your wedding table.

The bridesmaids and grooms man presence are not urgent, a wedding without them is still going to be a perfect wedding that you'll remember for the rest of your life. But, their presence would be one of the best thing that you'll ever have, period. Before make bridesmaids and grooms man list, make sure that your wedding cost still on track and spending money on their hampers didn't destroying your budget plan! The hampers that needs to be given to the bridesmaids and grooms man in Indonesia usually filled with sweet note or propose letter and also fabrics that they'll adjust as they please to create a suite or dress.

6. Arrange vendors meeting

Syncronizing the information, the preparation progress and rundown for the wedding day are required before you stepping on the big-day. You and your partner are entitled to arrange final meeting with all vendors involved. Don't forget to prepare the meeting room, snacks and meals to complete the meeting. Ask as many as you can. Make sure no one left behind and your wedding needs are fulfilled. You can choose to let your family and your partner's family to join the meeting or not. It's up to you, as long as your family and your partner's family don't bother if they didn't guide and follow the whole preparation process.

7. Get rest and have a beauty sleep to face your big-day!

Your wedding is getting real! It's tomorrow! So please, have a proper and enough sleep. Because lack of sleep is bad for your health and immune. To survive this pandemic, you need to follow the health protocols and consume multivitamins. Remember that your wedding require you to meet and gather so many people in limited areas and air circulation. Keep the social distancing and make sure all the guests are using a proper mask in appropriate way according to WHO recommendation. Also, don't forget to smile in every moment, because there will be a lot of photographer, videographer and all the guest try to capture your precious moment to ease you memorize that once in a lifetime event through pictures and videos.